Chelsea Cruise, Home Fans Snooze Copenhagen Lose, Away Fans Booze

Another week, another glorious goalless draw takes a London team through to the Champions League last eight. Or was it?

If there was mild disappointment at Tottenham’s lack of attacking verve in last week’s stalemate with AC Milan, there was confusion verging on bewilderment at Chelsea’s inability to put away a vastly inferior Danish side last night, whose threat had been neutralised by two Nicolas Anelka away goals more than three weeks ago.

This was a miserably turgid affair; the lack of quality typified by Didier Drogba’s shot into Delap territory moments before the final whistle, which was met with a vacuum of sheer, unapologetic apathy from the home fans, as Chelsea somehow contrived to do less than was required yet still secure a quarter-final berth at the expense of an FC Copenhagen outfit that was ordinary in the extreme.

The Scandanavian supporters had obviously given up the ghost of going beyond the Blues, so instead brought with them a truckload of Carlsberg that littered the Fulham Road before kick-off, and their former coach Roy Hodgson, who was back in West London ahead of West Bromwich Albion’s clash with the Champions in April. The Danes settled for goading Chelsea at their own ground, as they also boasted an impressive array of classic English chants, including fans’ favourite “Shall we sing a song for you?” and the old but gold “Who are ya?” belted out to tunes such as Magic Moments, made famous in the Quality Street ads, and accompanied by choreographed dance routines involving scarves, aggressive arm actions and incessant bouncing.

The match did briefly resemble what could have become quite a competitive kick-about as Dame N’Doye curled a sumptuous free kick against the admiring Petr Cech’s post in the 26th minute. However, despite the Danes enjoying 54% of the possession and the Blues accruing 26 shots at goal (7 on target, none worth mentioning), the number which felt most significant of all was the attendance figure of 36,454, almost a quarter of which appeared to be Danish. It was almost as if Chelsea’s supporters had seen this insipid performance coming - as naturally as opposition managers tend to see their tactics doing likewise.

“You’re supposed to be at home!” they chanted in their accented but educated English. Chelsea’s victory was certainly comfortable but the manner in which it was achieved at Stamford Bridge speaks volumes for the ill-ease with which this team appears to be enduring its current unconvincing run of form. Perhaps the warmth of a May day at Wembley, where this club have managed to claim 3 FA Cups and a Community Shield during the stadium’s short, 4-year existence, however, will have more of a homely feel for them come the summer.