Carlton Cole Charged For C*#p Joke

West Ham United striker Carlton Cole has today been charged with “improper conduct” by the Football Association, with public reaction deeming comments made by the Irons frontman on Twitter during last month’s England v Ghana game at Wembley to be racist.

“Immigration has surrounded the Wembley premises! I knew it was a trap! Hahahaha…The only way to get out is to wear an England jersey and paint your face w/ the St George’s flag!” Cole ‘tweeted’ on 29 March.

When recollecting the event, the carnival atmosphere in and around the Wembley friendly came courtesy of no more than the magnificent support offered by the 20,000 (officially, although it seemed like far more) Ghanaians, who brought sound, colour and, above all, joy to a match which seemed destined to become another dour footnote in the memory of England fans, not to mention the annals of friendly internationals. That was, especially, once England manager Fabio Capello had announced that the ‘sell-out’ crowd would be witnessing a second-string host side, offending former Black Stars midfielder Stephen Appiah in the process.

Cole’s comments appear to have undermined the African supporters’ beautiful contribution on and off-field that night, with their deserved late equaliser greeted with away delirium and polite home applause to boot. However, let us not misunderstand the nature of Cole’s crime. Humour in poor taste, yes. An attack at an oft-suggested ‘institutionally racist’ establishment – of course. But racism on Cole’s part, this unfunny outburst is not. Just as it was not when the family of Cole's team-mate, Victor Obinna, were said to have been racially abused at Upton Park last weekend, despite not actually being in the country at the time.

The fact that the FA feel compelled to discipline a black man for comments made against other black people strikes an uneasy chord with this reader, smacking of an ‘all across the board’ mentality designed to combat positive discrimination and ensure they are ticking all the appropriate boxes. And it’s not as if this is an isolated example or, indeed, the only issue.

On top of Wayne Rooney’s infamous and unprecedented two-match censorship this week, this episode also follows the debacle down the road at Emirates Stadium only two days earlier, during the Brazil v Scotland fixture the previous Sunday. On that occasion, a banana thrown from the crowd drew sighs from Brazil and Liverpool midfielder Lucas Leiva, as well as comments from Man of the Match Neymar, saying that the incident was “sad” – a word the teenage sensation used no less than four times in a statement deriding the incident, as if it was a throw-back to the dark days of which we no longer like to speak.

In fact, the fruit-hurling abomination was committed by a German, and, incredibly, one seated among the Brazilian fans. And, no, in case anyone is wondering, he was not a German looking to bring back the Third Reich, or even bring forward a Fourth, but a teenage tourist who just got over-excited. In the way that those who carry healthy, potassium-rich energy snacks and who have a keen interest in a sporting contest can become in a 60,000-seater arena.

When a Neymar apology was requested from the Scottish equivalent of our own ball-busters, the young South American stated, quite rightly, that he had technically at no time accused anyone of anything, which just goes to show that no-one is really right here. Those making the ill-advised comments are guilty of not checking in with their personal media department before making even mildly controversial claims in the current climate, while those in power have been found wanting with regards to both senses of humour and, more crucially, perspective when attempting to fulfil their supposed role and appear as if in command and not unjust.    

Cole has until 4pm next Wednesday to respond to the FA charge. Wayne Rooney has already responded to his. It’s all so unfair, isn’t it? In Carlton’s shoes, it would seem sensible at this point, not to compare words on a screen with those shouted into it, nor to contrast claims of racism with racist claims, but to cut his losses at this point, close his Twitter account and move to a country that can actually boast a suitable sense of social awareness. Like Germany, for instance.